Why You Feel Insecure Around Certain People (and What to Do To Feel Better)

Feel insecure around certain people? Learn why it happens and how to regain confidence instead of insecurity. Get expert help with confidence coaching at Overwhelm No More.

Have you ever noticed that you feel perfectly fine in most situations, but the moment you’re around certain people, self-doubt creeps in? Maybe it’s a colleague, a friend, or even a family member who makes you feel small, uncertain, or not good enough. This feeling of insecurity can be frustrating, especially when you can’t quite pinpoint why it’s happening.

If certain individuals make you second-guess yourself, hold back your opinions, or feel like you’re not good enough, you’re not alone. Insecurity in social situations can be exhausting, but understanding why it happens and what to do about it can change everything.

Why You Might Feel Insecure

1. Comparison and Perceived Superiority

Some people trigger insecurity because we see them as more successful, attractive, confident, or intelligent. Social comparison is a natural instinct, but when it’s excessive, it can lead to self-doubt.

What to do:

  • Remind yourself that everyone has insecurities, no matter how confident they seem.
  • Shift your focus from comparing yourself to learning from them. What qualities do they have that you admire? Can you develop those yourself?
  • If comparison is a major issue, limit exposure to their social media (which often presents a filtered, unrealistic view of success).

2. They Represent an Unresolved Fear or Wound

Sometimes, insecurity isn’t about the other person—it’s about what they subconsciously remind you of. If someone resembles a critical parent, a judgmental boss, or a childhood bully, your brain might replay old patterns of self-doubt.

What to do:

  • Recognize the emotional trigger and remind yourself that this person is not your past. You are no longer powerless in this situation.

3. Past Negative Experiences with Them

If someone has criticized, belittled, or rejected you in the past, your brain may associate their presence with emotional pain. Even if they’ve changed, your nervous system might still react defensively.

What to do:

  • Observe how they treat you now. Are they truly making you feel insecure, or is your brain reacting to past wounds?
  • If they continue to make you feel small, set boundaries to protect your self-esteem.

4. Subtle Power Imbalances

Sometimes, we feel insecure around people who hold more power in a given situation—such as a boss, an authority figure, or someone highly respected in a social group. Even if they’re not doing anything wrong, their status alone can create self-doubt.

What to do:

  • Reframe the situation: Instead of seeing them as “above” you, remind yourself that you bring value, too.
  • Focus on your strengths. Just because someone is skilled in one area doesn’t mean they’re superior in every way.

5. They Exude Confidence (or Arrogance)

Highly confident or dominant personalities can make you feel like you don’t measure up. You might compare yourself to them and feel ‘less than.’

What to do:

  • Instead of shrinking back, study what makes them seem so self-assured. Is it their body language? Their tone? Their decisiveness? Confidence is a skill you can develop, too.

6. If You See Them as ‘Above’ You

People with higher social status, career success, or attractiveness can trigger feelings of inferiority, making you doubt your own worth.

What to do: Remember that social status doesn’t define your value. Shift your focus to what you bring to the table. Everyone has strengths, including you.

7. Their Personality Clashes with Yours

Some people have naturally dominant, assertive, or critical personalities. If you’re more sensitive, introspective, or people-pleasing, their energy can feel intimidating.

What to do:

  • Recognize that their personality is not a reflection of your worth.
  • Develop assertiveness skills so you don’t feel overpowered in interactions.

8. You Fear Their Judgment

If someone has a reputation for being critical, or if they’ve belittled you in the past, your brain naturally braces for impact when you’re around them.

What to do:

  • Ask yourself: “What’s the worst that can happen if they judge me?” Often, the fear is exaggerated. If they truly are toxic, consider minimizing your interactions.

9. You Struggle with Perfectionism

If you set impossibly high standards for yourself, you might feel insecure around anyone who seems to ‘have it all together.’

What to do:

  • Recognize that no one is perfect. People who seem flawless often have their own hidden struggles. Focus on progress, not perfection.

10. They Remind You of Something You Lack

Sometimes, insecurity arises because someone has something you wish you had—whether it’s charisma, career success, or strong relationships.

What to do: Instead of feeling inferior, use this as motivation. What can you learn from them? What small steps can you take to develop that trait in yourself?

How to Stop Feeling Insecure Around Certain People

Now that you understand why you might feel insecure, here are some practical ways to change how you react:

1. Recognize Your Triggers

Start paying attention to when and why insecurity arises. Ask yourself:

  • What exactly is making me feel insecure?
  • Is this about them, or is it about how I see myself?
  • Have they actually done something to make me feel this way, or is it my own perception?

Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle.

2. Strengthen Your Self-Concept

Your self-worth should not depend on how others perceive you. Build a strong sense of identity by:

  • Listing your strengths and qualities that make you valuable.
  • Practicing self-affirmations.
  • Doing things that make you feel competent and capable.

3. Stop Giving Away Power

When you let someone’s presence dictate how you feel about yourself, you’re giving them power over your emotions. Instead, take control by:

  • Mentally reminding yourself, “I am enough, just as I am.”
  • Acting as if you belong in any space you enter—because you do.
  • Refusing to shrink yourself just because someone else seems confident.

4. Set Boundaries With Toxic People

If someone constantly puts you down, you don’t have to endure it. You have the right to distance yourself or establish boundaries that protect your mental well-being.

5. Improve Your Body Language

How you carry yourself affects how you feel. Standing tall, maintaining eye contact, and speaking with a steady voice can boost your confidence—even before your mindset catches up.

6. Develop a Growth Mindset and Work on Self Development

Instead of seeing confident or successful people as threats, see them as inspiration. Adopt a mindset that says:

  • “If they can do it, so can I.”
  • “I can learn from them rather than feel inferior.”
  • “I’m always growing, so I don’t need to be perfect today.”

Confidence grows when you take action to improve yourself. Whether it’s developing a skill, setting personal goals, or getting support, taking proactive steps makes insecurity shrink.

7. Practice Assertiveness

If someone repeatedly makes you feel insecure through their words or actions, don’t just absorb it—address it. You can say:

  • “I feel uncomfortable when you say that. Could you phrase it differently?”
  • “I appreciate your input, but I see things differently.”
  • “I’d prefer if we didn’t discuss this topic.”

Even subtle boundary-setting can make a big difference.

Need Help Building Confidence?

If insecurity is holding you back, you don’t have to tackle it alone. Confidence coaching can help you understand your triggers, rewire unhelpful thought patterns, and develop lasting self-assurance. Confidence is a skill that can be learned—and having a coach can speed up that process.

At Overwhelm No More, I specialize in helping people break free from insecurity and step into a more confident, empowered version of themselves. If you are ready to stop feeling small and start feeling strong, you can book a free introductory session today.

FAQs

Why do I feel insecure around some people but not others?

Insecurity often arises when someone triggers an unresolved fear, reminds you of past criticism, or makes you feel like you don’t measure up. It’s a combination of personal experiences, self-perception, and social comparison.

How do I stop feeling intimidated by confident people?

Shift your mindset from comparison to curiosity. Observe what makes them confident and see what you can learn from them. Remember, confidence is a skill, not an innate trait.

What if someone constantly makes me feel insecure?

If someone regularly undermines your confidence, it might be time to reassess the relationship. Consider setting boundaries, limiting exposure, or seeking support to build your self-worth.

Can confidence coaching really help me?

Yes it can make a big difference in your life. You can book a free introductory session at Overwhelm No More and start your journey toward greater self-confidence today.